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Friday, 30 October 2009

  • One will never know how enlightening the past couple weeks have been.

    I guess it really has been a long time.
    I totally forgot how it feels to really start looking forward to see a person.

    I honestly am not implying anything and no where does this give me any assurance, it does the exact opposite.

    It just gets me excited, and I'm trying to take it as lightly and as gently as I can.
    But a person will never understand how much I really put into the thought, understanding and how much I 'built' my perception of Love. It's one of life's mysteries I really hope to solve though I understand I may never come close to its true explanation in words.

    I am in an interesting, hard pressed situation.
    I am really trying to be my chill, cool self;
    while hiding this sense of happiness in the hope that  I knew existed.

    No where am I saying that I am in love as well.

    It's a feeling that requires no explanation because an explanation would belittle its sense of wholeness.

    But it does have something to do with the fact,
    that after all this time,
    there really is someone I am singing, writing, thinking and dreaming about.

    it implies that someone, though it may not be anyone in particular in this case, does exist.

    I am no where close to any answer or any fixed situation,
    but in a situation that has been uncharted because this time around;
    I actually know what I should be doing.

    But knowing is something totally different to doing...

    And lastly, I can't help but indulge in this i wrote way back when;
    "No words are neccesary,
    Because there's forever to conversate,
    No time is neccesary,
    Because time will one day be of the essence
    No intimacy is neccesary,
    Because its your love that i want first
    No answers are neccesary,
    Because God will give them all to me."





Monday, 26 October 2009

  •     Subtle words, subtle actions and subtle movement often bring out the best results.
    Wise words, chosen times, faithful patience allows the foundations to be set, allows time to play, allows our minds to think.
                Often people say that our lives are short and that God has only allowed us to live at most 100 years on this earth, but the boy has found that time really does not matter. Time will always come. Time will sadly go, but its essence, its memory, its suchness, its affect will never leave. Time will past, but time will always leaves its mark, time never fails to show its existence and its inability to hide forever. Time will never come back, but it can never disguise its past affects in the present. This is what the boy wants to hold on to.  This is what the boy wants to remember.
                Time will always come, time will always past and time will leave its mark.
    At the end, when time’s existence is out of play; everything, all of  the beauty, horror, the sadness, the happiness, the pain and the suchness of time will arise. Everything that time slowly hid will be shown and recognized. When time ceases to exist, the suchness of life will arise and the concept of forever and eternity will be understood.
                And in this understanding, we’ll find that time really didn’t really matter.
                We’ll see that our times of struggles and our times of pain could have simply been smiled and laughed about. We’ll see that the only thing that matters is the end.
                Whatever happens in between is just a means to continually move forward, even when the choice has not become our own to make.

                Subtle words and subtle actions, subtle movements and subtle choices will mean something at the end. The boy will allow time to play its game, to find ways to hide and to find ways to surprise and attack him.
                But all that matters is the end.
                Time always comes; and when it does, all the words will be said, all the questions will be answered and the one true love will be realized.

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

  • “A warrior of the light needs love. Love and affection are part of his nature. He makes use of solitude, but is not used to it” Paulo Coelho

                There’s a certain hope that awakens our soul, that brightens us the moment it reminds us that it really exists. No matter how long you’ve been waiting, how long you’ve been hiding, no matter how long you’ve even suppress that one hope.

                Subtle patience can almost lead to forgetfulness and almost neglect.
                Almost into ignorance of the very core of your innermost desire.

                That one weakness becomes your strength.

                That hopeless situation, in which used to accumulate question after question, thought after thought, insecurity and doubt would eventually lead to peace and contentment
                Because ignorance is bliss
               
                Then, when one door opens and different words are heard, different thoughts arrive to your mind; a catalyst of emotions, and feelings flick the switch of your dormant soul back to life. These different words and different thoughts bring about familiar feelings, familiar emotions, and even familiar joy that you have learned to suppress through the times of your subtle patience.

                The strength you were trying to build, the insensitivity to all that you needed to be insensitive to lost its taste once the catalyst set in. The ignorance set still in your soul, the forgetfulness, and the neglecting cannot stop the invigoration of the sudden hope that has awakened.

                And you realize, once again, why you’re alive.
                You realize once again, that hope does exist.

                You realize, that no matter where you go, how long you live or how strong you think you are; your strength will never fully suppress the hope instilled in your soul.

                It will always make itself known.
                It will always remind you, of who you are; no matter how much you don’t want to know.

Sunday, 09 August 2009

  • Simple Mystery

    I've been having a hard time finding things to write about over the summer;
    but i think I like this one.


    --------------------------
    ------------------------------------------------------------------
    I want to discover the world, the boy said.
    I want to climb the mountains, touch the sands, play with the animals and learn about magic.
    I want to seek out wisdom that is beyond the words, beyond cliché and beyond understanding itself.
    I want to make people smile, learn to unite my soul with communities and villages and learn about the beauty of God in all cultures.
    I want to save the world.

    The boy was surprised by the girl’s eyes; there were no tears or no feelings. She kept her composure and her poise and gave a meek smile, which suddenly gave him a sigh of relief.

    Will you come back? The girl asked.

    I’d like to think so, as he gave her a little peck on the cheek as he walked off.

    He’s decided that he want to leave his studies, leave his town and his family and discover the world; discover everything that could be discoverable and make sure that he has no regrets the day he dies.

    He decided that day, he wants to write stories for a living and use the inheritance that his dad left him for his travels.

    He decided that this is exactly what life is all about.

    The boy looked out towards the ocean, at the falling sun and decided to leave for his journey in the morning, but before he took the path back to his home, he cut across the rocky path and towards the trees.
    The boy continued walking and came across a calm river, soothingly gliding along its embankment. The boy couldn’t help but grin as he cut through the river, slowly receiving memories of his father taking him to the river as a child and teaching him how to fish. His father would teach him the art of patience and stealth; learning to be subtle, yet aggressive in not just fishing, but in life’s daily pursuits.

    The boy finally cut all the way through the river and started walking again away from the embankment. The heat had dropped and the sun started to slowly reveal its own weakness to the night as the boy walked further towards the hills.
    Along the way, he caught a glimpse of a dragonfly. He followed the dragonfly into a petite field filled with other dragonflies minding their own business, searching diligently through the flowers and plants in the bushes.
    The boy couldn’t help but smile again. He remembered as a child, he would run around with his friends and catch the dragonflies. He would always be scared to pick one up by the tip of its tail and he would admire its beautiful eyes and its bluish-black tail that swerved around as it tried to escape from the tip of his hands. The dragonflies were more abundant back then and the boy did not have to go into the fields to look for them. The boy always wondered why they disappeared. I hope they found what they were looking for.
    The boy continued on his path and started to walk up the hill. The sun continued to loosen up as the boy walked his way towards the top. The beauty of the early evening, the transition from the light to the dark is definitely something the boy appreciated throughout all of his life. The sights are much kinder as the sun decides to loosens its grip on the earth; the winds can actually be accounted for. The beauty of the time certainly made up for the hunger that was now signaling the in the boy’s mind.

    As the boy finally reached the top of the hill, he set his sights on the lonely tree by the edge of hill’s cliff. He sat down, to contemplate on his decisions and to admire the beauty of God during the closing hours of the day.

    He looked towards the path he just took, towards the trees, the bushes, the fields and the river; and at the corner of his eye, he saw the girl.
    By the river, she had her feet in the water, swaying them both back and forth. The boy saw the back of her hand slowly brush across her face to wipe a tear falling from her eyes.
    The boy never understood love and never understood the relationship that he had with the girl. She was simply just there.
    She was there simply to understand what the boy could not understand. She was there to listen to the many hopes and dreams of the boy, even though she knew he may not live to see them all come true. She was there to see the boy as he wanted to be seen, more than just a boy in search of a dream, but in search of the man he is supposed to be.

    Contemplation of her existence was enough to give the boy comfort that early evening as he continued to glance down towards the girl by the river.
    ------

    The next morning, the girl awoke and went about her daily chores around her home. She walked out into her garden that she tended and set her sights on the flowers that needed her attention.
    To her surprise, she saw the boy walking towards her home. She kept her poise and her smile as he opened the latched to her gate and walked through.
    Have you just come to say goodbye? The girl asked.

    The boy didn’t know what to do because he hadn’t done anything like this before. He didn’t know how to act or what to say.

    There have been many stories of people who’ve gone out to look for their treasures, to live their dreams and to truly find out whether hope really does exist in this world.
    I want to find a way to solve all my problems and find all the answers. I want to discover the meaning of life and everything that comes with it.

    But yesterday, I was on top of the hill and I saw you cry by the river.
    Men are meant to be strong and external and are suppose to learn the skill of non-attachment, but I realize that I am still a little boy.
    And even if I do go out in this world, and discover all that I have to discover and find all that I need to find; that there will still be many questions in need of answers, there will be more treasures still in need of discovering and there will be even more magic left to learn.

    What are you trying to say?
    The girl asked.

    All along, you are the treasure, the mystery and the desire my heart has been longing for.
    It’s through your tears that I realized, that all I need to understand of my own existence is simply through your presence in my life.

    I can’t understand it, and I won’t understand it; all I know is that now, I believe it.


    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I’ve been having a hard time finding things to write about over the summer.

    But the theme of finding the purpose of life, finding answers to the questions and uncovering the mysteries have been recurrent in my contemplations.

    I’ve been really sick of clichés, and things that have been heard millions of times before; from reading books, inspirationals, quotes and songs and I realized that no one really has the right answer.

    There can never be a definitive path and a definitive way and a definitive truth. “Truth” and “Answers” may just as well be a creation of our human perceptions. Being created as curious beings, constantly in pursuit of meaning, whether consciously or unconsciously, we may feel the need that everything has an answer and everything has an explanation and that there can only be one thing that can be truth.

    But it’s through ‘the simple faith of a child’ that the soul can rest. It’s through that faith that all can be understood without the process of understanding and all can be explained without needing explanation.

    The story can be looked at as an allegory.
    The relationship between the boy and the girl represents the relationship between a person and God.

Tuesday, 04 August 2009

  • I'll be completely honest to you and say that this summer definitely was not the best.
    As the last few weeks draw to a close, I could honestly say that my summer could have turned out a whole lot better than it did. It was a choice, I guess; a choice to always have my sights on the future and to hopefully reap the benefits of patience and sacrifice.
    A choice to understand what it means to truly struggle, knowing that I am not amazing; I am not the smartest, fastest person in the world and that there are probably so many more people out there that seem more capable than me.
    A choice to really get to the heart of the matter that, I am just me. A person who struggles, who has fears, who understands the problems of pain and who has no clue what he is doing and why he exists in the world.

    A choice to really give my dreams a shot,
    "It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting"
    I'm going to keep constantly believing no matter how hard I want to let go; no matter how impossible or difficult life can end up being, no sacrifice will be big enough, and no amount of time will ever be long enough.

    This summer was a 'rebuilding' summer.
    A summer to rebuild my thoughts, my insights and my mindset in life- and to hopefully get ahead

    I'll just keep hoping and praying that next summer, I'll have better things to write about.

    "Pray as if it all depended on God, work as if it all depended on you" - St. Ignatius of Loyola

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  • Su3ylina
    Hey thr! Nice & simple blog u have here... I was dropping by ur blog... Nice knowing u :)
  • chilled_roses8523
    yup 100%why do you ask?
  • stalkdebbie
    followed you from revelife page, are you filipino?